“Sleeper, Awake! Rise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you”
(Ephesians 5:14 NRSV)
Black lives still matter this February as we continue to struggle with getting the vaccine to everyone during a pandemic. Racism is real and pervasive in our culture and that is part of my most recent “woke” revelation. During this pandemic I had the opportunity to read Isabel Wilkerson’s “Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents” and I found it jaw dropping. Sure, I thought I knew about the New Jim Crow, but I like how she totally reframed the reality of racism in the USA into the context of caste rather than class struggle. As a woman of White privilege, I was comfortable growing up with the American Myth that anyone can work their way up the socio-economic class ladder to achieve more than what was expected from their birth position. She blew that all away with her thorough study of caste and how it applies to the USA from the first settlers to the evolution of Trumpism. Her argument persuaded me to jump off the class ideology and join the caste system framework. I highly recommend her book for its compassionate and prescriptive tone. She empowers us all to do little things each and every day to take the sting of racism away—as we love ourselves for who we are and do the work to be authentically human.
Racism may seem so huge that you feel there is nothing you can do about it as one person. Yet in her book, Ms. Wilkerson reminds us all that White privilege can pave the way by allowing and enforcing greater equality. I found one small way I can make a difference. Wilkerson tells the story of a Black man who legally named his daughter Miss at the height of Jim Crow in the South. This story reminded me about how I don’t like being called Miss, because I grew up in the North where it is not a custom. For the girl whose legal first name was Miss in the Jim Crow South, it was empowering because her White teachers in school had to call her by the title reserved for White privilege. This eye opening perspective of the impact that name had on her life and those around her was a woke moment for me.
When I moved to Texas from Michigan in the late 1970’s I was surprised when people addressed me by adding Miss to my first name. I was told folks down South were trying to show me respect and that it is a normal Southern custom. Wanting to fit in, I just followed the pattern. When in Rome, do what the Romans do, so to speak. I always found the custom curious because they didn’t usually know me well enough to respect me for any individual trait that would require a new title. And I never adopted the use of adding Miss to a woman’s first name when addressing her. It was just not my custom. Now, I don’t buy that custom anymore for another reason. It was born in racism. So, in honor of Black History Month, I have decided to have conversations with folks who add Miss to my fist name when addressing me–some of them are Black/African American, some of them are East Indian, some of them are younger Whites having been taught by their parents. Peers always call me by my name, without title. The conversation goes something like this:
“I would prefer you just call me Jackie and drop the Miss. When you use Miss, it reminds me of slave owners on a plantation—which I am not. I live in the 21st century where people can be respected equally by being called what they wish to be called. So please, just call me by my name.”
Reactions vary, but most folks are ok with calling me by my name. Seems fairly logical, doesn’t it? Some have told me to be patient if it takes them a while to do it—acknowledgment of a well taught custom that will be harder to reverse. One adult woman told me if her mom saw her doing that, she would get scolded. I replied, “Well maybe you need to have this talk with her too.”
I am not anyone important or special, I just like the name I was given at birth and wish others use it with no additions. Now, thanks to this book, I am woke to the need to guide others to overcome racism in its everyday pervasive use. I am a dedicated “Miss” buster!
May I Suggest:
I strongly suggest that you read the Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents and decide for yourself how you can take action against racism in its more subtle forms in our culture. Do what you can to be intentional, caring and authentic. Keep your boots on the ground every day. Stay woke!