“Train children in the right way; and when old, they will not stray”
(Proverbs 22:6 NRSV)
I had a flash back of my dining room table when I was about 10 years old. I remembered Uncle Joe and my mother sipping coffee out of bone china cups in the afternoon when I came home from elementary school. They took this time together to discuss not just how the day was going, but worldly matters- like newspaper headlines and politics. You see, Uncle Joe was not really my uncle. He was a family friend and my mother’s boss, a Jewish Lawyer for whom she typed legal documents in her home office. At the time (c. 1960’s) this was fairly progressive. His visits on the way home from his downtown office, were not just focused on picking up the legal papers needed for tomorrow’s court case. My mother created a safe place to discuss their opinions about politics—afternoon coffee at her home.And Uncle Joe had a special bone china cup which she used each time he sat down to drink and chat.
I remembered overhearing part of their conversation one day about Adlai Stevenson:
“He may be the smartest person who ever tried to be president,” My mother offered.
“Yes, I really like him for that. But he’s such an intellectual. I don’t think he will win over the common man,” Uncle Joe replied.
And so, I overheard political conversations in my youth, thoughtful discussions of views and opinions. No shouting, no screaming, no badgering, no insulting. Sharing political issues politely was normalized in my mind. It is something that is okay to do when respect for the other person is maintained. Citizenship involves the right to discuss what you think and feel in a safe place and to truly listen to other opinions about it. As it turned out, both the views I overheard about Adlai were correct. And he went on to serve his country as the U. S. Ambassador to the United Nations. I also remember something about “hell freezing over.”
My point is that we all need safe places to chat about politics calmly and respectfully and that becomes a real challenge with social media. We are living in different times and that may call for different ways to engage in safe political discussions. The cultural norm to not talk about politics does not fit in a representative democracy. Have we lost our way or do people just not know nor aspire to the best rules for engagement? Or maybe both…
Our children are watching, and we may not like what they see. It is time to have a serious conversation about how we value political conversation and what the rules of such engagement need to be. How can we create safe places to debate important issues? And how can we work together to find the best solutions. Have we strayed too far? Isn’t it really up to us to fix this, if we believe in “of, by and for the people?”
CAll to action:
Engage your children and grandchildren in a thoughtful conversaton about politics. Ask their opinion about politics in general. Listen to what they say. Be frank about the need to discuss issues so we can find the best solutions together. Commit yourself to helping them learn to be both civic and civil. Then share what you learned and how you feel about that with us in the comments section.